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 msmith
I am a wife to a wonderful, supportive husband who works VERY hard so that I get the privilege of being a Stay at Home mom to our vibrant 18-month old daughter Autumn Rainn.
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A Smarter Baby or an Obedient One?
Colossians 3:1-2
1If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.
2Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.
I hope the title does not mislead any moms out there who are thinking , "wait a minute, can't I have a smart AND obedient child?!" YES, you can, and it is my prayer that I have one too, but there are days when we may have to choose what we focus on for training and that choice is NOT easy. Recently I was faced with that moment and I had to ask myself, "what is more important?"
It was a Thursday morning and I was preparing my daughter to go to Spanish story time. She is 17 months old and It is my desire for her to learn Spanish. I know now is the best time for her to learn another language, while she is young and beginning to talk, and her brain is like a sponge, easily soaking in new words and knowledge.
I set out to attend this group in the city called The Spanish Hour. It is where parents come who also want their kids to learn Spanish, and one parent is selected to read stories & sings songs to the babies all in Spanish. During this group the parent's talk and the kids play. It is very fun and we both enjoy attending. Not to mention on this particular day, my friend was chosen to read the stories, so I really wanted to come and support her.
However, My daughter (Autumn) was having a hard time obeying that morning. In my mommy training the night before, I read an article about teaching kids to say "Yes, Mommy" in order to help establish respect and teach first time obedience. So I set out on a mission that I would begin requiring my daughter to say "Yes, Mommy." I did not think she would resist saying it. I actually thought it would be easy - after all she was clearly capable of this since she can say "I love you Mommy" which is 4 words. I had to believe that she could easily say "Yes, Mommy" which is only 2 words.
However, that morning she refused to say, "Yes, Mommy". We were on a tight schedule it was 8:30am we needed to leave the house by 9am and I was getting frustrated. I knew the clock was ticking as my beloved Spanish story time started at 10am. What was I going to do? Autumn was on the floor in a corner NOT giving in and I felt that it was important for me to "Outlast Her". I began to pray and ask God for wisdom, and to please soften her heart to obey, so we can at least leave at 9:30 since story time was 45 minutes away.
As the clock ticked and it grew closer to 9:30, I knew I had to make a choice. In my heart I had to ask myself, "Michelle, what is more important to you today, Autumn learning Spanish OR learning to Obey and respect your authority? I knew the answer, but I did not like it. I knew in my heart I had to choose teaching her obedience and "Outlast Her" even if we missed story time and it took me all day.
I knew if we went to story time and played and had fun as if nothing ever happened, I was going to be in for an even harder battle later. So I called the leader of the group and my friend and explained my daughter was having a rough day and I would not be able to make it. As moms they understood, and they could clearly hear my child screaming and crying in the background during our brief phone conversation.
I made the decision not to attend, and pretty soon it was time for her first nap. I put her down and hoped that she would awake with a new and improved attitude. I prayed for wisdom, and patience. Unfortunately, much to my surprise, she continued to resist my direction to say "Yes, Mommy" and not only that, she became more defiant and shocked my system by saying,.."Yes, Daddy!" At that point I knew I was in for a long day, and I knew it was even more critical to outlast her.
Well…..I had hoped she'd do better after Nap number 2, but those hopes quickly faded away. To make this long story short, it took 48 hours for my little 17 month old daughter to surrender her WILL and submit and finally say "Yes, Mommy"! Which I knew in my heart she could do.
For my husband and I it was 2 VERY long days. We would basically feed her and allow her to take naps, but during the times she would normally be playing, we did not allow her to play, instead we put her in the corner while we periodically checked in on her to see if she was ready to obey. It seemed like she was becoming more defiant every hour and when she was asked if she will say "Yes Mommy", she'd shake her head and say "NO NO NO"! As parents we were shocked at the stubbornness of our little sweet angel, but we both stood together united and determined not to give in. We knew this was the right thing.
At one point, I shared what was going on with a friend of mine. She did not think that Autumn could comprehend what she was doing wrong. This is when Mom has to stick to her guns and really be led by the Holy Spirit. I firmly felt she could understand and that she was testing me and I knew I had to win. I also learned that with Christ, no matter how tough the battle, I could win as a parent. Teaching obedience may not make sense to the world. Many parents focus on having a smarter, prettier, or talented child. However, I have to believe that teaching obedience not only benefits the child, but ultimately will benefit the Kingdom. When it is all said and done, I hope to raise a little girl who not only finds blessing in obeying mommy but also becomes a woman who experiences the rich blessing of obeying God.
I am blessed to have a husband who supported me, because one can grow weary in the battle for their child's heart, but even as it got harder, I felt that a breakthough moment would come. On day two, I desperately needed a break and went to dinner with my girlfriend while my husband stayed home to put the baby to bed. He called me to let me listen to an angelic voice that finally and cheerfully said "Yesa Mommy!" Yesa Mommy!" Ahhhh,…. There is nothing like the sweet sound of obedience. Music to a parent's ears.
By Michelle Smith
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Posted by Steph on October 17, 2009
