VTitus2Mom Happily married mom of 2 beautiful children. View all articles | Contact author

There are seasons for everything.  There are seasons to have your extended family involved in many aspects of your life, and there are seasons to really learn what it means to leave and cleave.  Marriage brings you to a chapter in your life where you need to determine what is best for your new family.  And while it is important to honor your father and your mother, it is also important to remember that God has asked you to honor your spouse, and to love your children.  Sometimes the best answer is to be separate from your extended family for a time.

This is especially the case when you have a major departure in areas of faith.  If you raise your children by biblical standards and your family makes it a point to show you how much they disagree with you—that is a good time to evaluate your time together. 

Is time spent with extended family contributing to the well being and harmony of your family?  Or is time spent with extended family adding strife and discord?

There are many issues that arise when you have a family of your own.  These include (but are not limited to) areas of submission, and childrearing.  The world has a very different way of approaching these issues than the Bible does.  Yet, we must not waver in our convictions just because the enemy tells us that we are in the wrong.  And this is true even when the enemy is our own family. 

Jesus said, "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart, I have overcome the world."  Anyone who chooses to raise their family in Christ will eventually find themselves displeasing someone in the world.  In some of those cases, separation needs to be made. 

When family offers such a strong voice of opposition to the way your family has decided to raise your children or manage the household, a time of separation may be necessary.  At least for a time.  During such times, it is good to keep up the lines of communication.  Phone calls might be difficult if they cannot transpire without arguments arising, so letters might be a good way to go.  Snail mail allows for family to be in the loop without being in the loop.

Only you (and your spouse) can decide what is right for your family.  Maybe you need only limit the amount of time spent with family.  This may be the case with family members who live close by.  Sometimes a season of separation may be necessary, with months or even years of physical removal from family members.  God can give you the wisdom to know what you need for your family.  He is always faithful, and He will help you through those times.  Though they may lead to some hard times, sacrifice for family and/or for the Lord is always worth it.