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Published : July 13, 2009 |
Author : momofsix
Category : U. Infertility Issues | Total Views
: 359 | Rating :  
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 momofsix
I am a homeschool mom with six children.
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God is sooo good. I am finally pregnant after four years.
I never thought that I would see a fertility specialist, but I did. I use to get pregnant to so quick and easy. However, after my last c-section, I couldn't get pregnant. I even watched my ovulation time with an ovulation test and got no reading. I wasn't ovulating. The fertility doctor suggested starting out by taking the fertility drug. She said the drug changes the fluid in the uterus, making it hard or near impossible for the sperm to travel into the uterus without the doctor inserting them there. After finding that my insurance didn't pay for this, I tried to resolve that I would just leave it up to God. So, I gave my dreams of having any more babies up to the Lord. I surrendered it to Him. Although I suspected that the reason I couldn't conceive a baby might be because of the c-section and the details that followed that, I also knew that God could do the impossible. I tried to stop begging and pleading with God. I tried to learn to live in contentment.
Two months later, there was a great Christian conference. We attended each night. One night, getting ready for the conference, I saw an old progesterone deodorant, which I hadn't used in years, sitting on the counter of my bathroom. I think God helped to put it right where I needed to see it. I used it once or twice that week and didn't touch it again. My husband and I, went to church and the anointing of the Lord was very strong. I went up to the altar and confessed sins of anger, hurt, and continued offenses. I had done this previously, but this time, I wanted to leave them at the altar for good. I gave up everything to the Lord, doing that which I felt he was asking me to do. There were some things that I was holding on tightly. I gave them up in prayer, and in deed.
It was that week which the pregnancy computer estimates that I conceived! I am sure God pricked me to use progesterone deodorant that happened to be in front of front of me. That wasn't coincidence (you can't get pregnant with too high of levels of estrogen, and progesterone helps with that). That might have helped, but I don't think that alone caused a pregnancy because my previous csection was a mess. The doctor was very angry with me that I asked him to be careful in pulling the baby by the neck (my last baby from a csection got an vertebrae out of place) and put his entire arm up to his shoulder into my uterus. I heard the nurses gasp with horror. I saw what the doctor did as I watched the reflection on the ceiling light reflection. He was angry with his voice, words, and his inserting his whole arm into my abdomen. I tried to get pregnant and only one time carried a baby for three weeks and lost it. So, this baby is truly our miracle. I am amazed that I am pregnant. The children are also excited. They said that they have prayed for two years.
I learned a valuable lesson to give up everything to the Lord every day. Truly, nothing is impossible for Him to do. Even when men act wickedly, God can turn it all around for his glory. God healed me. I have learned that I don't have to try and hold onto what I love because He is faithful to know the desires of my heart. There is now a trust in my relationship with Christ that wasn't there before. There is more of a quiet confidence in His sovereignty, learning to live more as a servant - quietly and happily serving God, rather than being a demanding child of God, thinking God needed to do things the way I perceived.
I hope to surrender each day all that I have unto Him. My children are His. My home is His. My possessions are His. I don't want to hold onto any of it. I just want to leave it in His hands.
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