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Published : December 07, 2009 |
Author : Jeanie1
Category : H. Fostercare and Adoption | Total Views
: 366 | Rating :  
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 Jeanie1
Sandra Nardoni is a home educating adoptive mother of three. Sandra mentors adoptive homeschoolers who are struggling to teach children with attachment issues and severe behaviors. You can visit her site at www.adoptioncounts.com/blog
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Amazingly, two years ago I was so stressed out, I never would have believed I would be writing articles to help families homeschool their adopted kids. My two new children were wreaking havoc in our house and we were all exhausted. But, because of the resources my husband and I discovered, like "Beyond Logic, Consequences and Control", and "The Connected Child", and the prayers and involvement of our church and family, our home has been transformed into a place of peace and healing.
One of the biggest challenges (but also one of the biggest joys) I've ever attempted is home educating my three children. At the ages of 11, 9, and 8, a big mountain to climb is teaching not only to their intellectual ages, but also to their emotional ages, which can change from day to day and sometimes even hour to hour. My key phrase these last few years is "routines with flexibility" because that is the secret to teaching to a child's developmental needs without sacrificing academic content. I will be giving you a glimpse into what that looks like and sharing some curriculum choices we've made that have been integral in helping our special needs kids thrive.
Let's get started talking about routines. I find that adoptive parents faced with extreme behaviors often do one of two things. They either set up such structure in their childrens' lives that their kids are stifled and stressed out, or they have no boundaries or expectations at all, choosing to excuse every behavior but never re-training their children in appropriate ways of expression. Neither path is helpful, and when you home school there is no where to hide- you are responsible for their education and you have to have a plan.
First, take a look at what you are already doing and make notes about what is working. For us, it works to let my daughter sleep in if she needs to because if not, she makes everyone miserable! This gives me time with the boys before she wakes up and sometimes I'll get book work done with them before I ever even see her. It did not work when I tried to get her up at the same time as everyone else and make her be a morning person. These are the ways you can tweek your day and make your day work for you. Pay attention to your children's natural rhythms and bent so you can tailor your routine to what works for them. Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day--you are striving first to have a good relationship, then to educate, not prepare them for the corporate world.
So, how do you teach to a child's developmental age in the moment, without sacrificing content? Our family accomplishes this in several ways but the biggest is through unit studies. Unit studies are perfect for families because you can bring all the kids under one umbrella for everything accept Math and Phonics. When the younger members (physically or emotionally) get too overwhelmed to move further into a topic, they can "get off the bus" so to speak and you can keep moving with your older kids. The curriculum we use to do this is KONOS but there is also My Father's World, Sonlight curriculum, and others. Personally, I think the first two are the best choices for special need kids, but that gives you a place to start. (If you want more information about specifics of what we use, you can sign up for my free mini-course below.)
In a broad sense, my kids know what to expect of the day when they wake up. We have a framework that includes morning routines, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, rest time, and bedtime routines. These basics are important to keep in place when at all possible. As for other activities and events, we can mix things up sometimes and make basic parts of the day longer or shorter according to what is going on around the house. Our routines aren't rigid but there is a flow to our day.
In our family, schooling all year has been the ticket to me relaxing so the kids can have the space to heal and grow. We aren't concerned if we have a few "meltdown" days and get nothing done, because we have a whole year to make things work! Knowing my children well enough to jump in with learning when they're ready, and back off when they're not, means they are ready to learn the days I do push them. I am focused mostly on building relationship, character, and teaching them to be good readers. Everything else will fall into place as their brains have time to catch up.
Sandra Nardoni is the home educating, adoptive parent to three children. She also does private consultation with homeschool families educating adopted children. If you need help on how to homeschool your traumatized kids, click on the blue text to get a free audio course about homeschooling adopted kids. |
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