Fulltime Mama
My name is Elizabeth, and I am the happy wife of nine years to Fabio and fulltime mama to four beautiful children: Joshua-7, Dominique 5, Israel- 3, and Johann-18 months! We are currently living in Brazil as missionaries and life never ceases to be an adventure!!!
I love motherhood with a passion and am passionate about providing a place here at MamaKnowsBest where mothers can learn, grow, and share ... pooling the wisdom of many into one big jackpot for mothers.
I have had the privilege of "knowing" Chautona Havig online for about six years now and have gained much from her wisdom as a wife, mother and follower of Christ. If you have read any of the articles she has posted here on MamaKnowsBest, I'm sure you will be able to say the same. (If you haven't, you can get to them through the above link on her name.) I am so pleased to have the opportunity to introduce her to you now!
I recently finished reading her book Noble Pursuits and thoroughly enjoyed it! I am also excited that YOU will now have a chance to win a copy, as Chautona has graciously agreed to give three copies to MKB readers!! More info at the end of this post.
Here is a little bit more about her and her family from an interview I had the privilege of conducting.I know you will enjoy getting to know her better!
For the past twenty years, Chautona Havig has focused primarily on rearing children, home educating children, and keeping the Havig home all while enjoying life with her best friend, Kevin. She unashamably defines herself as a wife, mother to nine, and grandmother of the world's two cutest bestekids (grandkids), but most importantly, a daughter of her Abba Father. Far from her original dream of living as a self-imposed spinster, teaching English Literature, living in a tiny cottage (well, she got that part right), and spending her summers writing the great American novel in a small town in Missouri, Chautona lives in California's Mojave Desert and thanks the Lord frequently for His hand in guiding her away from dreams that would have left her empty, unfulfilled, and alone.
For many years, Chautona sewed for local businesses, sold unique one-of-a-kind boutique clothing, and ran a custom clothing website. Eventually, she closed her sewing businesses in favor of spending more time with a life-long passion, writing. Though she still makes time to add things to her Etsy shop, for the most part, all of Chautona's spare time is now invested in her 'imaginary friends' as she calls the characters in her stories.
Writing gives Chautona a unique canvas to boldly paint the pictures most dear to her heart. She wants to show how broken people are precious to Jesus and that through Him, we are beautiful, valuable, and can make a huge impact on the lives of people around them. She desires most to encourage people to focus on relationships and the Word rather than appearances and rules. In her own words, "When I die, all I want people to say about me is that I loved the Lord. If they just say that, I'll feel like a success in my life."
Please tell us a little bit about your family. (how many children, grandchildren, ages, etc.)
Well, without Kevin, my family would have consisted of just my daughter Challice and me, so I'll start there. We've been married for over twenty years and he's still my very best friend. I can't tell you how blessed I am in God's choice of a husband for me. And yes, it was 100% God's choice. I had zero intention of ever getting married or having children and God said, "Um, think again." As a matter of fact, I was adamantly declaring my intended state of permanent single-tude when my best friend stopped my ranting with a quiet, "Well, would you marry me?" Ummmmmmm erm, yeah. How do you respond to that? I mean, let's face it; there were two options. Either Kevin was 100% fool (not likely), I mean who asks to marry someone who doesn't' want to get married; or, this was a God thing. (Er, yeah. That's a bit more likely.) So, I so very graciously said, "Ok, but you know... if you marry me, you're stuck for life. I don't do divorce." Ahem. He's still here and he did say "I do" so.... I still like to joke that he married me for my daughter, but in today's society, it isn't as innocent sounding as it used to be. How sad.
We went on to give Challice siblings. Eight siblings in all. After a total of four daughters, God freaked me out with a son. That whole pregnancy was a lesson in trusting the Lord. I knew I'd be fine once he was there, and instinctively I knew it was a he, but oy... what a shocker. After sixteen years of marriage, we had nine children total! Seven girls and two boys. Challice as the oldest at twenty-one is married and has two of her own children. The rest of the kids aged 19-4 live with us and enjoy the crazy life of a Havig.
What do you find most challenging about motherhood, and how have you handled this challenge?
Well, the fact that I am not maternal and feel smothered when surrounded by ever-present people makes mothering nine children, by definition, very difficult. The answer is very simple but it isn't easy-- you suck it up, die to self, and serve the Lord by serving your family. Oh yeah, and you crawl back to Him for comfort when you fail every hour. Not that I would know from experience or anything. Aside from that, I try to remember that God made me for a reason. He created a woman who loves to write, to create, to read... and I make sure I do those things on a regular enough basis that I can recognize myself when I look around at what I've been doing lately.
What do you do to stay strong in order to fulfill your daily tasks as a mother?
Well, as trite as it sounds, without 100% reliance upon the Lord, I'd fall apart very quickly. As I already said, being a mother is hard work for me-- it goes against everything that comes natural to me so without those "everlasting arms", I'd be a mess. Showers are times to pray, cleaning the kitchen is praise and worship, and research for books tends to take me on tangents deeper into the Word than anything else. Practically speaking, I make sure I get sleep, plenty of water, and liberal amounts of coke and chocolate.
What's your favorite book of the Bible and why? (or if you would prefer to talk about a favorite verse, that is okay too.)
James. It's funny; answering this question was an eye-opener for me. I honestly didn't know until I had to answer the question. James was the first thing that came to mind, but I wasn't quite sure why I'd chosen that particular book. I confess, I wondered if it's because the one we memorized in 9th grade. It's easy to like a book you've committed to heart, you know? It wasn't the answer, though. After searching deep, I realized that it is the one book that God uses most to peel back another layer of my stubborn self-righteousness. So, add a generous sprinkling of Galatians 6:3, and I'm good to go.
How long have you been writing?
Well, the church published my first poem in our church bulletin when I was eleven. The next year, I wrote the most pathetic and pharisaical nonsense ever known to man the next year. Honestly, I think that's partly why I wrote Argosy Junction (Publishing in July 2009). It's almost penance for the sermons in fiction I wrote back in 1983. However, around 1995 I started brewing new ideas in my mind, but with five children under 10 and expecting another one any day, it wasn't time. Around the fall of 2000, I had one I couldn't resist, and I started working on what I called, Aggie's Inheritance (recently retitled For Keeps). That book snowballed into Noble Pursuits, and then Introductions, and from there it mushroomed into fifteen finished books and forty-five works in progress. Yeah, I have self-control issues.
What was your inspiration for Noble Pursuits? Can you tell us a little bit about how that book came to be?
Honestly, I saw a woman aggressively pursuing a man one day, and the realization that this is the 'new norm' shocked me. By the time I went to bed, the opening scene was written. After I wrote it, I wondered, "What is it like for a man who just wants home and family if he lives in a much more 'high society' circle?" Grace appeared very quickly. I thought it'd be nice if just once, the average girl got the "catch" in a novel. Once it was finished, I cut half of the ending, and added Aunt Fran. I really love Aunt Fran.I think without the Lord (and her bank account of course), I'd be Aunt Fran.
How do you find time to write as the mother of nine children?
Well, there are a few things that help. First, I write all throughout the day. I always have a document open. As I think of something, I write it in. Between explaining the difference between Quetzalcoatl and Montezuma, I write a little here and a little there... it's quite Biblical. (Isaiah 28:10). Second, I usually make sure I have two hours at the very least after everyone goes to bed to write. I also write quickly. There is a scene in Anne of Avonlea where Megan Follows playing Anne says, "I have it all filed away in my imagination anyway." I used to think that was so insane. Now, I get it. It brews while I'm sleeping, while I'm working, whatever I'm doing, the words are formulating. Sometimes when I sit down, I seriously feel like a transcriptionist-- I'm just there to type the words for someone else.
The odd thing about writing is how often the characters dictate the events of a story. I used to think people were exaggerating when they said they couldn't make a character behave. I get it now. I completely get it. What I don't get, is writer's block. My problem isn't having something to write, it is having trouble finding time to write it all.
How much of you do put into your stories? Do you use people and events from your real life?
Honestly, I can't keep me out of my stories.As I said in my acknowledgments to Argosy Junction, "Inside every book is a piece of the author.As much as I strive to let my characters be themselves, pieces of me crawl into my books and make themselves at home."Grace, in Noble Pursuits has a lot of my mother and my daughter in her.She also sings one of my favorite songs.Each of my books has something familiar to me in them.I can't say they are one hundred percent original because everything that my mind conceives is influenced by my life.I don't see how it could be any different from anyone.Even the story I'm working on right now set in the Middle Ages has a character moved by hearing someone called "dear heart."Had I not heard and been moved by that same phrase when a dear friend said it, I would never have added that part to the book and it will make the book a deeper and more meaningful story.I work very hard to keep me off my pages, but I'm not that good of a writer I guess.
What is the hardest part of writing for you?
This is going to sound hysterical, but I have to have a good working title or I can't write a word.Even if I have the whole first chapter or two written in my mind, without a good title (remotely plausible), I cannot write.I don't have any kind of loyalty to most of my titles.Most are changed at least a little, but I can't just slap 'Fun Stuff' on a document name and start working.It has to make at least a little sense to me.Ok, so maybe editing is worse but just a little.Without a title, I have nothing to edit.
What person or people influence you most in your writing?
Honestly, I'd have to say my parents.My father taught me love, compassion, and heroism through his ballads and exposure to poetry.His strong values, brilliant mind, and ceaseless logic help me every time I start typing.Mom's steady consistency, loyalty, and delightful personality are in every one of my books in one way or another.While I may see Dad's smirk on this page, I'll find Mom's twinkling eyes on another.I always seem to have someone with Mom's blunt honesty or Dad's surprising tenderness that is always hidden beneath a mirage of armor.
When is your next book going to be published and what is it about?
Argosy Junction is in the proofing process as we 'speak'.It should be published by July 20, 2009.I'm very excited about this book.Noble Pursuits is very near and dear to my heart, being the second book I wrote and having characters and a plot that address things that are important to me.However, Argosy Junction has all of that and yet, in my opinion, is a much better book on many levels.
Argosy Junction is the story of a family who walked away from the Lord after years of ever-increasing Pharisee-ism in their local fellowship.A Christian with a heart for the Lord and no rules to add to their lives turns those lives upside down.
You have shared much wisdom with us other mothers on MamaKnowsBest already, but what is one thing you would like to encourage us in, or a gem of advice you would like to pass on today?
You have one life, and that life is a gift from the Lord. Don't wish your days away in hopes of a "brighter future" or "easier moments". You can't get those days back again. I've never been a huge fan of Thoreau, but he had the idea right, "suck the marrow out of life." Live life to its fullest. If someone gave you a box of your favorite chocolates for a gift, you wouldn't nibble at one half-heartedly, toss it aside, and go after another one. You don't gobble them down either. Inhaling your food ensures you don't enjoy the flavors. Take a bite of life; chew it, savor it. Enjoy every minute of it that the Lord gives you, and share your joy with others. Eternity awaits and it is a wonderful thing to look forward to, but don't waste today in your desire for tomorrow.
Thank you so much, Chautona, for taking the time to share with us here at MamaKnowsBest! It has been a pleasure getting to know you better!
And now, how 'bout winning a book??
I recently read Noble Pursuits and it was a pleasure. It is a novel, yet there is much to be learned in it as well. I almost never take the time to read fiction, but I was so glad I took the time to read this one. It will challenge the way you think about romance, raising children, the roles of men and women in a modern society ... and make you wish you canned your own food! LOL. :) Whether you are a single woman or a busy homeschool mother, I know you will find this refreshing and relaxing. I find myself still wondering what Nolan and Grace are up to even now! hehe.
To win your copy, simply leave a comment below! The drawing will be in two weeks, on Tuesday, July 14.
SCROLL ALL THE WAY DOWN TO LEAVE A COMMENT. THE COMMENT BOX WILL APPEAR BELOW EVERYONE ELSE'S COMMENTS!!!
It's great "hearing" more of you, Chautona - and congratulations on finishing another book!
Posted byUtterlyBlessed on July 10, 2009
I, too have 'known' Chautona for awhile now on the Shed. I always appreciate her advice and I took her last paragraph to heart. Thank you!!
Posted byCarrie on July 09, 2009
Great interview and wise words. Thank you!
Posted bylynn on July 03, 2009
I would be honored to read a book by Chautona!
Posted byMrs.MegLogan on July 01, 2009
Chautona great interview. Learned so much! and I loved the birth story synopsis in the comments.
I'd love a copy too, "ooh pick me. pick me" LOL
Meg
Posted byCaroline on July 01, 2009
I would love to be entered to win the book! I have heard so much about her books. Thanks!
Posted byJoann on July 01, 2009
Would love a chance to win this book. Thanks
Posted byChautona on July 01, 2009
Oops! That should read... "This book is the story of a family returning to the Lord after abandoning their relationship with Him due to legalism."
Posted byChautona on June 30, 2009
This book is about a Christian who helps the legalist come out of legalism?? Just wondering...
Actually, to be more accurate, I would say it is about a family returning to the Lord due to legalism. Originally the family was a part of a godly fellowship of Christians who, through their ever increasing rules and restrictions, choked the life out of their faith. The father in the family is just as guilty as the rest of the church they left. However, when they meat a 'real Christian' their hearts are slowly softened to the Lord again.
Could you share a bit about your birthing experiences? Did you give all nine children via hospital? Were any csection, etc.?
My first child was born as 100% "traditionally medical" as you can get. Stirrups, caudal block, flat on my back, vacuum suction to get her out... the works. With my second, I ended up with an unwanted and unnecessary epidural, but a better birth. My third was exactly how I would have had all of my children if I could possibly do it. I gave birth at a free standing birthing center and left 4 hours later. (And went shopping at K-mart on the way home!)
My fourth and fifth babies were born at home- unassisted except by friends who were knowledgeable about birth and/or had birthed at home themselves. Great births. I loved being home, eating when I wanted, taking a shower immediately... the works.
My sixth labor started when I was exhausted and developed a lip on the cervix. At one point during a contraction, the doppler caught Jenna's heartrate dropping in half so we went into the hospital just to be sure. It never did it again, but being so exhausted, I had labored sitting most of the time and developed a lip on my cervix. We were glad we went in even though it wasn't necessary.
Baby seven started at home again, but we were all jittery after the last time. I mentioned going in at one point, went to the bathroom a few minutes later and then knew, "this is it"... any time now. Just as I came out, my husband decided he wanted us to go in. I was distraught but kept my mouth shut (that was 100% the Lord because I wanted to throttle him!) We got to the hospital and the nurse checked me. I was at 8. Went to the bathroom, came out and said, "Baby's coming." Kevin misunderstood and said, "yep! Soon." I disagreed and said "now!" Ahem. Well, he got me up on that table they call a bed, I grabbed his thumbs and said baby was crowning, and he disagreed. For about 3 seconds. Then he agreed and yelled for the nurse to turn around and catch the baby. She was fiddling with instruments and ignoring us. Finally, he yelled, the gal turned around looking like she was going to tell us to be quiet and dove to catch the baby. (head was out and shoulders were coming) From the minute Kevin said he wanted to go in 'till she was born... 20 minutes.
Ethan was breech until 37 weeks so I was unwilling even to consider home birthing. We just went in. It was my EASIEST labor but my longest too. (15 hours?) Only the last 15 minutes were hard and I just don't like to think about those minutes. UGH.
My last baby was born at home again. I was a complete space cadet that pregnancy (forgot to eat, sleep, educate my kids on any kind of regular basis, pay bills that weren't auto-paid... it was ugly) I also forgot to get help for Kevin. So, he asks as I'm climbing on the bed who is coming and I have no names for him. Challice ran down to get the neighbor and Morgann called a friend to come back and help. Gulp. The only thing Kevin ever asked about me giving birth at home was that he'd have "back up" to watch for anything going wrong and I blew it.
I've never had a c-section, only had episiotomies with the first two, and I confess that had I had a c-section, it probably would have been my last child. I am not a fearful person... actually, I think my faults lie in the opposite direction, but I think everyone has one unnatural and irrational fear. Mine is pregnancy after a c-section. It freaks me out to think about it.
There she goes... my births in a very large nutshell.
Posted byMissy on June 30, 2009
Could you share a bit about your birthing experiences? Did you give all nine children via hospital? Were any csection, etc.?
Posted byGT on June 30, 2009
Argosy Junction is the story of a family who walked away from the Lord after years of ever-increasing Pharisee-ism in their local fellowship. A Christian with a heart for the Lord and no rules to add to their lives turns those lives upside down.
This book is about a Christian who helps the legalist come out of legalism?? Just wondering...
Posted byBeth on June 30, 2009
I would LOVE to receive this book.
I've "known" Chautona via onlilne selling for years, and have always thought of her as a Godly wife, mother, and woman. You're a super role model, Chautona.
Posted byLady Roadkill on June 30, 2009
I am such a fan of Chautona's advice on the Shed. I have been thrilled to enjoy her on Mamaknowsbest now, too. What a blessing it would be to get to read her more formally published material.
Posted byAnita McFarlane on June 30, 2009
I first read most of Noble Pursuits during my 40 hour labor with my fifth child. I finished it in those "quiet" early days with a newborn. I would love to be able to give a copy to someone else and still keep mine. Please enter me. :) I also can't wait to read her next book! Her advice on RGT is usually "right on" and her writing gives excellent "food for thought" as well. What surprised me the most in reading this article is that after being on RGT, Chautona's transparency made me feel as though I already knew everything here. It was comforting to see that she is who she is. ;)
Posted byToya on June 30, 2009
I love the answer to how you fulfill daily tasks. What a blessing!!
Posted byRenee on June 30, 2009
Chautona has been inspiring me to be a better wife and Mom since the T2 Mom's Board days.
I would love a chance to read her book..so enter me too!
Posted bydangitAnge on June 30, 2009
What a great article! Chautona really is wonderful. :)
Posted byAnne on June 30, 2009
I've enjoyed several of Chautona's books--this one sounds wonderful.
Posted byGeri Hicks on June 30, 2009
I didn't know Chautona was your Mom Challice...on RGT so long and didn't even know that! I am excited to read her book! Please enter me in the contest :)
Posted bySharon on June 30, 2009
Wise words as always.
Posted byChallice Neipp on June 30, 2009
That's my mom. And she has lived a wonderful life for the Lord. She is a wonderful friend as much as a wonderful Mother.
Any information found on this website do not dispense medical, legal or professional advice, nor do they prescribe any treatment or strategy that should be tested without the advice of a professional. Information presented on this site is for educational or entertainment purposes only. You are responsible for your own actions should you use any information found on this site. Please use common sense and good judgement and be always cautious and wise in everything you do. Remember, "A Wise Mama is A Good Mama."