Fulltime Mama My name is Elizabeth, and I am the happy wife of ten years to Fabio and fulltime mama to four beautiful children: Joshua-9, Dominique 7, Israel- almost 5, Johann-3 and expecting a new baby in April 2012! We are currently living in Brazil as missionaries and life never ceases to be an adventure!!! I love motherhood with a passion and am passionate about providing a place here at MamaKnowsBest where mothers can learn, grow, and share ... pooling the wisdom of many into one big jackpot for mothers. View all articles | Contact author

One Big Key to Cutting Stress:

Prepare in Advance

Picture this:

You are running out the door, already five minutes late for an appointment, when you realize that the baby needs a diaper change. You drop your purse, diaper bag and toddler’s hand and run to change the baby. Now, you are finally ready to head out the door. But then you realize that your toddler only has one shoe on! You ask him where his shoe is, and he answers, “I dunno…”  You turn back toward his bedroom and frantically search for the missing shoe. Finally locating it under the bed, you shove it on his chubby foot and hit the door running, baby and bags in one hand, two-shoed toddler by the other. Once everyone is buckled in the car, you realize that you left your cell phone in the kitchen charging, so you dash back into the house to retrieve it.  Now, instead of five minutes late, you are fifteen minutes late! What else could go wrong?

Can anyone else relate to this scenario? I certainly can! Now, while certain emergencies – like untimely diaper change necessities – may arise when you least expect them, I have found that the biggest key to cutting down on stress is preparing in advance.

I am still learning how to best do this in everyday situations, but I will share what I have found helpful so far. (And I should add that even the things I have found most helpful, I don’t ever do as well as I could/should!)

Prepare the Night Before

I have found that the more I prepare for the following day the night before, the more smoothly things tend to go. I don’t know about yours, but my children are typically up fairly early.  If I am not up before them, however, I start my day feeling like I am already a step behind. Sort of like the day is off and running and I am stuck in the backseat, rather than in the driver’s seat!  I much prefer to be in the driver’s seat of the day, rather than having the day drive me, so this is what I do:

The night before, I lay out my clothes for the next morning. Sometimes I lay out the children’s clothes as well, especially if we have to leave to go somewhere in the morning. But I always lay my own out, even if we plan to stay home.

Then, I get up at least 10-15 minutes before the children to get a quick shower and get dressed before they are up.

My ideal (which I rarely achieve) is this: to wake up one hour before the children, exercise for 15 minutes to wake up fully and get my blood pumping, have a devotional time for about 15-20 minutes, then take a shower and start breakfast.  Then I can greet the children with a smile when they wake up. Doesn’t that sound lovely? The days I accomplish this, it is lovely, and I wish I could make myself do it every day! When I can’t, however, I at least shower and start the day with prayer as I shower. Even just that shower and prayer combo makes a big difference in how the day starts.

Getting Ready For Church

Sunday mornings used to be such a disaster - and some weeks still can be - but the thing that has made the biggest difference is getting ready in advance! That means, bathe all of the children on Saturday night, lay out everyone's clothes, iron anything that needs it, pack the diaper bag with anything that might be necessary, lay Bible close to bag, write checks for tithes or offerings and add them to wallet, etc. 

Now, Sunday mornings are restful and peaceful! We are typically all ready long before we have to be, and then we have time to sit the kids on the couch to sing together or read some Bible stories. I have found that they have an easier time sitting in church after a peaceful morning like this as well. The days we rush around all stressed out and scurry out the door flustered and irritated are typically the days they get antsy and restless during church....

Start Getting Ready LONG Before You Think You Need To

If you have to leave at 10:00am to be somewhere, and you think you can have yourself and the children ready in one hour, start two hours in advance! I think this is especially true the more children you have. It seems that more often than not, you need the extra time, and at any rate, you can enjoy the journey more without getting stressed out and stressing your children out while you are at it! And if you really are ready in one hour, you can sit and enjoy a book together at a leisurely pace. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?

Do Big Tasks A Little At A Time

To me, dinner is often a good example of a “big task”. If I wait until 5:00pm to start preparations, I am sure to feel stressed, and my family is sure to feel it too. Things remain much more peaceful in our home if I do dinner “in littles”.  For example, I start with planning out our week’s meals. Then, the night before, I check the following day’s menu, and decide if I need to pull anything out of the freezer to thaw.

The next morning, I may put the meat in the crock pot, brown the ground beef, or chop vegetables, depending on the menu.  After lunch, I may have the children help me peel potatoes, put the rice in our rice steamer, or get out ingredients to be ready on the counter. Then, at four o’clock, I see what else I can do to facilitate the process – maybe making the salad at that time.  Once 5pm rolls around, most of the work is done, and it is only a matter of putting the pieces together. So much less stressful this way!

This principle can be applied to many different things: cleaning the house, preparing for guests, packing for a trip, etc.

A System for Everything, and Everything in a System

Again, this is something I am still working on, but the more automatic systems you can develop, the less time and brain power you use, the more smoothly things can run, the less stressed you feel, and the more peaceful your home.  Some examples may include systems for bill paying, for grocery shopping, for house cleaning and routine chores such as laundry, for yard work, for cooking, for appointments and errands and more.  There are many good articles that give ideas for these things that you may want to check out below. I have personally learned so much from these posts that I have begun implementing in our home.  Please share your ideas as well!

Monthly Grocery Shopping

Basic Steps For An Organized, Well-Stocked Pantry

Getting It All Done

Sample Chore List For Mothers

Organizing and Simplifying

Organizing Your Life

Making Grocery Shopping Easier Part 1

Making Grocery Shopping Easier Part 2