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Published : May 13, 2009 |
Author : Kirstin
Category : O. Marriage | Total Views
: 289 | Rating :  
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 Kirstin
I'm Kirstin, wife to Jay and Homeschooling mom to four little boys.
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I think there are other love-languages besides those talked about in The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
Having a content wife who stays in love with him
Having someone to take care of his house and children
Having someone to grow old with
Having someone who will just always be there
Having someone to call familiar and "mine"...
The theme is HAVING...not "doing".
Husbands
can't always detail it for us, but I think in some cases...their
"enjoyment" with us comes from just a wife's reliable constant
presence... not so much what we DO with them if anything at all. Just
to know they have us...makes them happy. Just the fact that we love
them, and stay, and find a content medium flow with them...is something
nice to them....and even if they don't show it, they would be
devastated to lose us.
I have a quiet man. A computer game
man. He doesn't like to say or do too much. He is just happy that I am
here.......with him, available, loving him, making things nice, keeping
the kids interesting and fun, and being a deeply inward value in his
life.
It sounds really dis-connected..but that is just his flow.
He's not an activity man, too much....And he has to work hard at
preferring me over internet and playstation and being absorbed in his
world. But I've seen growth over time. The more I chill out about it
all, and just love him. Try to be his buddy without defining everything.
He
really hates that...all the analyzing, defining, and trying to "create"
a lifestyle or atmosphere. He once told me...."I didn't marry you so
you could figure me out, and make everything perfect...., I married you
because I wanted you to hang out with me forever".
Not very romantic...but that's what brings him pleasure....just that I am here.
Some men are just this way......
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 Comments and Discussion Wall |
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 Posted by rhonda aka mamawannabe on June 07, 2009 |
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wow! this is very eye-opening. i think you've hit the nail on the head. my husband is also a gamer and not very affectionate. but, now that you mention it, one time when i was discussing love languages he did say to me,"why can't you just be happy?" to him just the fact that he comes home to me is supposed to make me happy. so..i'm thinking that the "having" part applies to how he "speaks" love as well. i just have to learn to accept it! : ) thanks for the insight.
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| Posted by Fulltime Mama on May 13, 2009 |
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My dh is also not easily "pegged" into one of the five discussed in the book. :) Thanks for sharing!
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