msmith I am a wife to a wonderful, supportive husband who works VERY hard so that I get the privilege of being a Stay at Home mom to our vibrant 18-month old daughter Autumn Rainn. View all articles | Contact author

Potty Training is a Process!

Very few moms I know will have a potty-training experience that lives up to that oh so catchy book title saying "Train your child in ONE DAY", Potty Training Boot Camp, Or Potty Training in just THREE days! Quite frankly, I think those types of books can do a disservice to moms because they set them up for failure or to feel like a failure.  The truth of the matter is that if it takes you longer than a day to potty train your child you are NOT a failure!  The reality is, if you feel your child is ready for potty training, than you are just beginning the process.  If we recognize that for most kids, potty training WILL be a process, than we as moms can free ourselves from the insanity of feeling bad that our child did not get potty trained in 3 days or less.

            For me, that process began early.  I took the potty training plunge when my daughter was 18-months old. Minus some blood in the first day, from a nasty fall off the thrown, she responded pretty well.  In about 4 days she actually got the concept of what it is like to use the potty and each day she had fewer accidents.  Of course, when other moms in my life discovered this, they celebrated and wanted to throw me a parade. But I knew that she still had more training to go.  In my heart those were great moments solely accomplished in the four walls of my house. However, I did not trust that those few days of potty training success equated to a child fully potty trained.

            For me complete success meant being able to go outside the home and have no accidents (or at least very few).  Since that first week was so intense, I was not ready to brave the outside world, at least not without a pull-up.  So we did several weeks of using pull-ups but. I tried to buy the cheapest and thinnest ones possible, as to not make it feel like a diaper. Likewise, I did not treat it like a diaper.  I continued to put her on the potty every hour or so. Most days she stayed completely dry.  This is when I realized that potty training is as much of a process for mom as it is for the child. Looking back now, I believe in my heart my daughter was ready to face the world with her big girl panties long before I was ready for her to do that.

            A couple of months went by before I finally braved the idea of my daughter going outside the house with NO pull-ups.  Inside she wore panties but outside we put on pull-ups. In spite of this, she did not regress.  When mom was ready her response was success! I started off with small trips to the local park or to visit a friend who lives five minutes away.  After each success we went further and further away until we were at an event that was an hour away.  Once again MORE Success!  It was at this point when I knew she had achieved successful daytime potty training. I knew there was still another step in the process, which was my biggest and most dreaded one….NIGHTTIME Potty Training.

            We began this potty training at 18months, at about 20months we started going in public with no pull-ups on. Then at 22 months we decided to stop pull-ups at naptime and that was messy because initially it was not consistent dry naps. However, I felt she was ready so I would just put a towel under her and eventually nap times were consistently dry. Her big two year birthday was quickly approaching.  I realized that it was time to see how other moms were achieving success at nighttime training.  The primary potty training book I used, (On Becoming Potty Wise) by Gary Ezzo. I loved this book, but it did not discuss much about nighttime training so I felt like I was not prepared for this part of the process.

            As I talked to a friend, she shared that the book she read had a section on night time training and information I could try.  She sent me the book, I read the section tried it and it worked! I also skimmed through other parts of the book and also found the information helpful.  In skimming through her book it helped me to learn that it is a good idea to get more than one point of view on a topic. Each author had some valuable ideas that moms can learn from.  No one author has all the answers, so I encourage moms to be open to different ideas until you find what is best for you and your unique child.

            I would love to tell you that I have "completed" this lovely potty training process. However, that would not be total truth. I am extremely proud of the strides my daughter has made.  However, we are still working towards total night-time dryness. As of now, I use the method suggested in the second book which was an online resource (Three-Day Potty Training)-By Lora Jensen.  Jensen suggests cutting off liquids 2-3 hours before bedtime, as well as, taking the child to the potty 2-3 hours after she has gone to bed. I was nervous about this but I tried it and she went right back to sleep.  Heck, she is like a zombie on the toilet. The best part is she wakes up totally DRY with no wet sheets! I realize that she can go eight hours, but not ten.

            My daughter is almost two and a half years old now. She is growing like a weed and I find that the potty training has been a learning process for both of us. We are both learning from her triumphs and from her moments of failure.  I recently learned that giving her something as simple as a few slices of Watermelon was like giving her 8 glasses of water. :)  If not careful, she is SURE to have an accident.  Nonetheless, I am confident she WILL get this skill, because I believe we are both on the right path.

When you think about it, ….Potty Training is actually a process that reflects our lives and how all of us grow.  In each of our lives we will have opportunities to learn a new skill, strengthen that skill, until that one day when we perfect it and hopefully be as good as the one teaching us.   Along the way, we have a guide, and maybe even a guide book, someone cheering us on, encouraging us and someone cleaning up our accidents.  We all have unique situations; and only God knows whether you will take one day or ten years to learn a particular lesson.  The process to learning anything is universal. We all hope to reach success and at the end of our journey we all hope to find out if we became like our guide and if we chose the right path.

 By: Michelle Smith